


Lead Me On

by crystalyeol



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, College AU, EXO AU, F/M, Fluff, Lots of that basically?, Romance, Smut, fuckboy!chanyeol, is that even a thing on here?, oh and
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 11:26:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11988849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystalyeol/pseuds/crystalyeol
Summary: Falling for your ‘friend with benefits’ might not be the smartest idea. But, Chanyeol can’t help it and neither can you.





	Lead Me On

_“The weather’s only sunny when I’m under it._

 

_And I haven’t really changed, yeah I’m just confident”_

 

 

 

The soft music that was playing soothed her a little bit. The blissed out look on her face, her still slightly unsteady breathing and the feeling of the soft fabric of his t-shirt made her sleepy. At the door opening, a tall boy was leaning against the frame, watching the girl. She turned her head to him and smiled. “Hi..” she breathed out, making the boy chuckle, walking closer towards her. “Hello, baby” he hummed. The nickname made her cheeks flush and her stomach tingle. Chanyeol smirked. She sat up, the white sheets pooling at her

The nickname made her cheeks flush and her stomach tingle. Chanyeol smirked. She sat up, the white sheets pooling at her thigs now. “Thank you.” She giggled. He let out a laugh, pressing his lips to her neck. “You don’t have to thank me every time” he softly bit her earlobe, making her squirm. “But I want to.” She whined. Chanyeol only shook his head.

They weren’t exactly in a relationship but he treated her like a princess, she thought. Over the past months, they developed a friends with benefits type of relationship but, other than sex, they didn’t really do anything. In their friend group, yes but other than that, it was pure sex. “What’s on your mind, hm?” she heard him ask, making her look up at him. “Oh, nothing” she hummed, smiling at him. Chanyeol rolled his eyes, chuckling. “I know when you look like that, Y/N” he said. See, that was where she got confused. He knew her so well. Yet, he didn’t really do anything besides having sex with her. Not that she minded, no, not at all. “Y/N” he said again. She sighed, forcing a smile. “it’s nothing, Chanyeol, really.” She shrugged.

 

But Chanyeol already had his lips on her jawline again, making her head tilt back.

His hand disappeared into the waistline of her panties and she let out a soft moan, making Chanyeol smirk against her jaw. Slowly, she closed her eyes, letting him do his thing. Chanyeol laid her back down on the bed again. Just minutes ago, he was cursing at himself for leading her on like that. He could see that she thought he felt more for her than just lust. Which was not true, he thought. (though, deep in his mind, but he hadn’t realized that himself, he _did_ feel more). He ignored the guilty feeling in his gut, circling her slowly. Making her squirm, which made him smirk again. “I’m still sensitive” she whined, making him smirk even wider than before. “I know.” He hummed, applying just a little bit more pressure. She bucked her hips up and let out a moan. Right at the brink of her release, he drew away. Making Y/N jolt up, frowning at Chanyeol, about to say something. But before she could, his lips were on hers again and his fingers were doing magic at her center again. She fell back down again and let out a loud moan. “Oh my God” she nearly screamed. She was still so sensitive from the session before they had and now he was drawing her to a release again.

When he added just a little more pressure, she felt her muscles contract and her eyes shut tight. Letting the pleasure take over her.

 

After a few moments, she calmed down again. She opened her eyes and saw him sitting next to her, a sly smirk on her face. “That was.. wow” she giggled. Her cheeks turning warm from the look he gave her. She fell back on the bed again and closed her eyes. “I’m sleepy.” She hummed, laying on her side. He chuckled. “then sleep, baby” he whispered, placing the sheets over her. Chanyeol watched her for a moment before he decided to sleep as well, turning off the lights, crawling under the sheets himself too.

 

* * *

 

Her eyes slowly crept open. Her thighs felt a little bit achy from the night before. She turned around to greet Chanyeol but he wasn’t there. She frowned, sitting up.For a moment, everything was silent. She indicated he wasn’t in the apartment anymore. A wave of hurt sent through her body but she only shook it away, he wasn’t hers anyway. Still, she felt hurt by it. Reaching for her phone, she grabbed it. She had gotten a text from him, though. **I’m out, there is breakfast on the table.** It said. Y/N gulped, why did he leave? She slowly got out of the bed, looking at her neatly folded clothes on the nightstand. She rubbed her eyes and took them. Heading towards the bathroom where she laid them on the closed toilet lid. Her fingers reached for the hem of Chanyeol’s shirt, peeling it off. She threw it in the laundry basket and sighed. She slipped her panties off as well and stepped in the shower.

 

The warm water on her back was comforting it calmed her. She grabbed his shampoo bottle, a habit she seemed to have picked up. He never made comments about it so she assumed he didn’t mind. Slowly, she massaged the shampoo into her hair. While she let it dry, she thought about Chanyeol and her. Day by day, she started to feel more for him than just sexual attraction. She wasn’t sure why. Perhaps it was the way she noticed him look at her, perhaps it was the way he treated her after sex.

 

Soon, she finished off showering and was in her clothes again. Sighing, she grabbed her phone and stepped towards the living room, noticing the croissants and a bottle of orange juice. She smiled softly and got her phone out, texting a quick ‘thank you’ to Chanyeol, grabbing the bag of food. She put on her shoes again and went to the front door. Stopping just one minute in the hope Chanyeol would come again.

 

Y/N gave up and opened the front door. Making sure it was locked once she was out. Since she came here walking, she decided on a walk back home, reminding herself to stop at the grocery store for dinner tonight. It was a decent day, some clouds, normal temperature and it was mildly windy. A perfect day to just, think.. she thought.

 

After a few minutes, she arrived at the store, looking to her left, there was the coffee shop she and her friend group hung out occasionally. It appeared they were hanging out today too. She was about to walk in until she saw Chanyeol sitting there, an unknown girl leaning against his shoulder, smiling up at him. Her heart sank. The boy looked back at her with a shocked look. Y/N gulped, did he just ditch her to hang out with that girl and their friends? Couldn’t he notify her they were hanging out again? He always did when they made plans.

 

Maybe stopping at the grocery store wasn’t a good idea.

 

* * *

 

Chanyeol had left early morning. Jongdae had texted him, asking him to come to the coffee shop they hung out, also asking if he could tell Y/N about it. Chanyeolhad looked at her sleeping figure. Smiling to himself. He catched himself smiling at her more and more, for no parituclar reason. Deciding to let her have her sleep and hegot up. Part of him felt guilty he let her sleep. But he knew she needed it.

 

After a quick shower, Chanyeol got out of the house to get breakfast. It was only a walk across the street. The shop he occasionally got breakfast from was cheap and he liked the food. He ordered two of the same menu’s and went out, silently going into his house again to place Y/N’s breakfast on the table. Deciding to take a look if Y/n was awake already. He opened the door to the bedroom and saw her, still sleeping. Disappointment filled his body but he smiled nonetheless. She looked so cute with the sheets barely covering her thighs and his shirt ridden up, exposing her tummy. He bit his lip and whispered a soft ‘sleep well’ before he closed the door again. Slowly, he slipped out of the house again, getting out his phone. He sent a quick text to Y/N and got in his car, driving towards the coffee shop. He couldn’t help the aching feeling in his stomach and head because he just left Y/N there. But he also couldn’t help doing so. He was an asshole after all.

 

At the coffee shop, all his friends were there already, including the girl he fucked with before he got into a ‘relationship’ with Y/N. He inwardly rolled his eyes and forced a smile towards a waving Jongdae. “Hi” he hummed and sat down. Jongdae smiled and nodded “Where’s Y/N?” he asked. “I don’t know, she didn’t pick up her phone so I figured she’s away.” He breathed out. Jongdae nodded. “Normally she picks up, but oh well.” Chanyeol only nodded.

The girl, named Minji immediately sat down next to Chanyeol and gave him a bright, fake smile. Chanyeol guessed she was still petty about him just leaving her after he hooked up a few times with her. Now it almost seemed like Minji was attached to him. But Chanyeol laid no interest in her. At least, not anymore. “We already ordered you your usual” Baekhyun informed him. Chanyeol nodded and rubbed under his eyes. “Tough night?” Baekhyun teased and arched his eyebrow in a curious manner. Chanyeol rolled his eyes “mhm” he hummed. Minji, now almost hanging over him, giggled loudly. Making Chanyeol’s head hurt. “We both know you can go on all night, hm? We should do it again, some time.” Minji whispered suggestively in Chanyeol his ear. Making him scrunch up his face in slight disgust. He ignored her and grabbed his coffee, squeezing the cup between his fingers. Minji placed her head on his shoulder, smirking up at him, her hand on his thigh.

 

A few minutes of talking and laughing went by, Chanyeol mostly listening. He didn’t notice that Y/N was standing in front of the window until Jongdae looked up with a confused look but smiling nonetheless at the window. Chanyeol looked up and saw Y/N standing in front of it, a hurt look on her face. Jongdae stood up and went over to the entrance of the shop, opening the door. “Hi! Y/N” she only waved and showed a small smile. “Come in, I think your tea is cold but I can order a new one.” He chuckled. Y/N nodded hesitantly. “What’s wrong?” she heard Jongdae ask. “I’m just tired.” She answered, walking in with Jongdae.

A new tea further and she was sitting at the table. Across from Chanyeol and the unknown girl, who was giving her dirty looks. Making Y/N feel ashamed. “Chanyeol tried to call you but you didn’t pick up.” She heard Junmyeon inform her. Her heart sank. “Oh..” was all she answered, not daring to look up. Meanwhile, across from her, Chanyeol was silent, biting down his lip. His eyes focused on her face. As far as he could see it. “Where were you?” Junmyeon continued to ask. Only Y/N didn’t answer.It was awfully silent at the table, only a few scoffs from the girl next to Chanyeol. Y/N felt like crying. First, Chanyeol wasn’t there when she woke up (which he usually was). Second, he hadn’t bothered to tell her that their friends were meeting up. And third, now there was a girl basically latching herself onto him. “Y/N?” Junmyeon asked again, now sounding slightly concerned. She felt a hand on her knee, Junmyeon’s hand. Chanyeol tightened his grip on his cup when he noticed Junmyeon coming closer to her. Breathing out deeply. “Are you ok?” Junmyeon asked her. She was silent, looking even more down now.

 

A few seconds passed before she looked up, her eyes red from holding her tears in. “I’ll leave.” She informed. “I’m only going to ruin it.” She added, forcing a smile to Junmyeon. She turned towards Jongdae, handing him the amount of money he paid for her tea, “here” she whispered. She grabbed her bag again, shot a look to Chanyeol, who also was looking at her. They held eye contact for a moment, tears welling up in her eyes when she noticed that girl was trying to get Chanyeol to look at her. She only shook her head, gave Junmyeon a smile and walked out.

 

“What was that about?” Chanyeol heard Jongin ask, who was silent all this time until he spoke up. Chanyeol only shrugged and took a sip of his coffee. Junmyeon shot him a look. Frowning. He felt concerned for Y/N. It seemed like he exactly knew what was going on. “Did you really call her?” Junmyeon asked. Making Chanyeol glare at him. “What the fuck?” he asked him. “What makes you think I didn’t fucking tell her?” Chanyeol spat, looking Junmyeon dead in the eye. Junmyeon, however, reacted calmly. He bent forwards so only Chanyeol could hear him (and Minji might have heard it too) “Because I saw how she looked at you, Chanyeol. She looked hurt.” He said, almost no emotion in his voice. Apart from the concern, he had for Y/N. Chanyeol’s eyes darkened, he bit the inside of his lower lip before he looked Junmyeon in his eyes. “No, I did not call her. She was sleeping when I left the house and I didn’t tell her that we were here.” He spat, sitting back down after that. Minji let out a giggle and placed her hand on Chanyeol his thigh again. He didn’t get why Y/N made such a big deal of it. (But maybe it was because she had feelings for him, he thought) they weren’t exclusive so why would she care? It made him think, would he want her to hook up with someone else? Would he like it if their friend group hung out without him?

 

His thoughts were interrupted by a chair being shoved away. Chanyeol’s head shot up. It was Junmyeon, who was already at the door with his coat in his hands. Chanyeol bit his lip, shot a death glare in the way of Junmyeon and decided to let it drop.

 

 

Y/N let out a deep breath, trying not to cry. A hand was placed on her shoulder. She jumped a bit, letting out a string of swear words, turning around. Her eyes softened when she noticed it was Junmyeon. Quickly, she wiped under her eyes and forced a smile. But Junmyeon noticed her expression and took her in for a hug. Not saying anything yet. But his hands were comforting on Y/N’s back, she thought. She let herself lean into his embrace and blankly looked forward. The coffee shop was still in sight, only she couldn’t see what was happening inside. “I’m sorry, you can go back to our friends, I ruined everything now.” She whispered. Junmyeon only chuckled. “It’s fine, Y/N. You’re feeling bad and I am here for you, like a friend should be.” He hummed. But, Y/N didn’t really feel that it was a right thing to feel bad over. Chanyeol and her weren’t exclusive anyway. Deciding to ignore the feeling, for now, she smiled and snaked her arms around Junmyeon. She needed the comfort of a hug right now.

 

Inside the coffee shop. Minji had seen everything that happened outside. She bit her lip, smirking up at Chanyeol. “Babe, look outside, aren’t they cute together?” she giggled. Chanyeol looked out of the window. Minji noticed his features hardening. “Fucking cute” Chanyeol hissed. Making Minji bite her lip, a flagitious look in her eyes.

 

Chanyeol bit his lip, noticing Y/N her head turning towards him. Out of reflex, he turned to Minji and placed his lips on hers. He had no idea why, he just did. He heard the people around the table gasp. Minji let out a giggle when he pulled away, humming contently. Right when he saw the look on Y/N’s face, his heart snapped. He swallowed and forced himself to look away. He fucked it up.

 

Outside, Y/N stared blankly at the scene inside of the coffee shop. Junmyeon had seen it too. He gently cupped her chin with his thumb and index finger. he hummed, making Y/N look at him. Y/N raised her eyebrow but before she could say something, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around to only crash into a chest. Looking up, she noticed that it was Chanyeol. “Why are you outside? I thought you were having fun inside, hm?” she heard herself say before she could think. He shrugged and Y/N felt Junmyeon squeezing her waist. Whispering for her to ignore it and come home with him. Junmyeon knows about Y/N her feelings and he could feel that Chanyeol basically felt the same, only he doesn’t know it himself yet. “Answer me” she pleaded. Only to get a confused and slightly angry look in return. “Okay” she stated. Her hand grabbed Junmyeon’s arm and she dragged him away from Chanyeol. Maybe she shouldn’t have reacted so angrily but she did. At least Junmyeon would understand.

 

Chanyeol stood there and watched the pair leave, his blood boiling. This wasn’t what he wanted. But he just doesn’t know how he feels and he can’t put into words how he didn’t know what he feels. Because he just _doesn’t know_. Heels clicking against the road made him snap out of his thoughts. “What were they doing?” he heard Minji ask. But, he only shook his head and stormed inside again. He didn’t need the whining of Minji or his friends talking anymore. All he wanted to do was go home and be frustrated alone.

 

“You like him, huh?” Y/N heard Junmyeon ask. She didn’t answer but Junmyeon knew she did. He did not blame her. Chanyeol was a good person for her. They matched. But Chanyeol had to get his feelings straight before all of this fucked up. “I do, yes, but he seems to like Minji more. I don’t get it, last night he told me all those sweet things and now he’s all over Minji! What am I doing wrong?” she exclaimed, making Junmyeon stop. “Y/N, listen to me.” He began, grabbing her shoulders. “You are doing absolutely nothing wrong, if all, you were brave for stepping out of it.” He began. “Chanyeol shouldn’t have acted like that. He lead you on, I think. But that doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. He is in the wrong, ok?” looking Y/N in her eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” But, Y/N could only hear certain parts of his words; _he lead you on._ Was Chanyeol really able to do that?

When she first met him, he seemed like such a shy guy who couldn’t even hurt a fly. Over time, this view only changed a litle bit, he was quite emotional and wasn’t afraid to show that to her. But was he _really_ able to lead her on? She couldn’t believe it. She decided to ignore it and only nodded at Junmyeon. Junmyeon decided to drop it too. Only focussing on lightening Y/N’s mood now.

 

 ** _‘baby, why did you leave?’ ‘what’s wrong?’ ‘are you jealous of junmyeon and that girl?’_** Chanyeol sighed and angrily threw his phone down on the kitchen table, immediately regrettig and picking it back up again to see it was still working. Luckily it was. He gently placed it back down again and walked away from it as fast as he could. He couldn’t stand any social interaction right now. He just wanted to be alone and he was especially not in the mood for Minji. So, he sat down on the couch, fished his laptop from the coffee table, put on a song and closed his eyes. Letting his mind wander.

 

* * *

 

Back at Y/N her apartment, she sank down on the couch while Junmyeon offered to make her a cup of tea to calm down. Which she, of course, didn’t say no to. A good cup of tea calmed everything down, like her grandma heard from this old man at the store next to her house. Or something. Y/N didn’t remember exactly. In her mind, she reminded herself to visit her grandma soon again. “I have tea” a mug was handed into her hands and she thankfully smiled at Junmyeon. “Thank you” she whispered. He nodded and sat down, pulling her into his side. “Cheer up” he hummed. “Or do I need to put on bunny videos again? Like when we were twelve?” Y/N giggled at his comment and sat up, sipping her tea. “That was embarrassing..” she hid her face behind the gigantic mug.

“Don’t bring it up, bunnies are just cute, how can someone stay angry when you see one?” she laughed. Chanyeol told her that her bunny obsession is cute, last week. She reminded herself. He said that it was cute how she fussed over a fluffball. Her cheeks grew red again but her face turned sad again at the mere thought of it. Chanyeol also would know exactly how to cheer her up without bunny videos or sex. Not that Junmyeon did not know how to make her less sad (without sex). But, her mind just couldn’t stop wandering to Chanyeol. And she was growing pretty frustrated because of it. But she just didn’t get why he would do such a thing. But to keep rooting on it didn’t help. So she just decided to try and ignore it the best she could. “Board games, like when we were twelve?” she suggested Junmyeon, a wide smirk appearing on his face. “Longfield Ludo” he suggested back. Making Y/N nod excitedly. “Our favorite game” she happily exclaimed and got up to her board game box. Something Chanyeol also had called cute, she thought. Mentally slapping herself right after. “I got it” she hummed, coming back to the couch where Junmyeon was getting ready for an intensive game of Longboard Ludo.

 

And at Chanyeol’s place, his mind couldn’t stop wandering to Y/N either. Everytime he thought of something he would lay the link to something she did or said. Which annoyed him to no end. He just wanted to focus on nothing and just… sit, or sleep. The latter really wouldn’t happen, he already knew that. When he was frustrated, he would never be able to sleep, sadly. So he decided on staying awake until he felt less frustrated about all of this. If that would happen, that is. All he knew is that his feelings for Y/N keep growing by the second.

 

 

“Ugh, Junmyeon, can you not win for once?” you asked, groaning as you popped another cherry gummybear into your mouth. You heard the deep sound of Junmyeon’s chuckle, a grin appearing on your face. “You know this game is pure luck, Y/N.” you rolled your eyes but giggled nonetheless, he was right after all. You felt a nudge on your stomach. Looking down you saw the little brown, fluffy animal, seated in your lap curiously looked up when you giggled. Junmyeon’s eyes went to the tiny creature. “Odin has been being more active, I’ve noticed. I think he’s finally coming down from that sickness.” You nodded.

Odin, your one eyed bunny (hence the name) had caught some bunny sickness and you had to take him to the vet. Junmyeon has been taking care of it when you were at University. You were thankful for that. “Mhm, he’s been drinking more too, which I’m glad about” a happy sigh left your lips. You rolled the dice again, getting ready for another intensive game of a ‘Game of the Goose’. Junmyeon had won the last few rounds and you were determined to win this round.

Halfway through the game, Junmyeon had gotten up to make you and him some more tea. Meanwhile, you were trying to get Odin to eat that damn carrot he had been so hesitant off. “Odin, it’s not healthy to only live off those dry foods, you know that.” You hummed, desperately trying to get the bunny to eat his vegetables. Which he only had taken one bite off and then neglected any further interaction with it. He was a stubborn one.

You were interrupted as the doorbell rang. The loud sound shocked you. You shot up and looked at the clock. It was 11 PM. Who would ring your doorbell at 11 PM?

It seemed like Junmyeon hadn’t heard it.

So, you got up – carrot still in hand – and padded towards the door. Slightly hesitant to open it. It still annoyed you that you couldn’t properly see through the door who was in front of it. You’ve been wanting to change the glass in it for months now but never got around to actually doing it. Your hand wrapped around the icy door knob. Breathe in, breathe out. You told yourself before opening the door in one swift movement.

And there he stood, the man who has been bringing you worries for days now. His hair was a mess and all you wanted to do was run your hands through it, fixing it. Like you always did when calming down after he had pleasured you. You were speechless, breathless even. Every ability to speak or breathe had been washed away along with the deep breath in you took, probably more than a minute ago. Or so it felt.

“Why do you have a carrot in your hand?” you heard his deep voice, making you look up. You still didn’t feel like you could speak. If you did, it would sound weak. You brought the carrot up to your mouth, taking a bite of it. You noticed a faint grin on Chanyeol’s face. But he hid it well, you noticed.

After you’d swallowed the slightly dry tasting carrot – now you understood why Odin only took one bite of it – you looked up. Had Chanyeol been crying? “I, uh, I was feeding Odin.” You mumbled, looking down again. Your cheeks growing hot. His gaze was so intense, you  _had_  to look down. It made you feel stupid, for some reason. You had been unreasonable with him. Your heart said. But you knew that wasn’t the case. You both were unreasonable. And it didn’t help that Chanyeol was so hot headed sometimes. Impulsive, irrational, insensitive, even. But you didn’t seem to mind, most of the times. And when you finally were able to talk and break the silence, you felt yourself speak up. “Why are you here, Chanyeol?” you questioned, biting your lip, daring to look up now. 

Right before Chanyeol could answer, the door of the hallway went open. You knew it was Junmyeon. But you paid no mind to it. A sense of shame washing over you as you heard your best friend sigh. “Junmyeon” you heard Chanyeol. Junmyeon nodded, giving you a worried look but you shrugged him off, silently telling him you would be ok. It only being half true. Junmyeon nodded. “I.. should go.” You inwardly slapped him for going. You felt like you needed his help right now but you didn’t want to ask him because it would make you seem helpless. Which you weren’t. His hands reached for his jacket, quickly putting it on and shoving past Chanyeol, towards the nearest subway station. You made a mental note to talk to him later.

You sighed, looking up at the tall man in front of you again. His face had an unreadable expression on it. His eyes were staring straight forward but you couldn’t make any emotion out of it. The wind started going up again and a cold shiver ran down your spine. Normally you would seek warmth at Chanyeol but not right now, you were too confused. You let out a frustrated groan and grabbed his wrist, dragging him in. Closing the door right after.

“I was getting cold”.

“Oh”

You rolled your eyes.

“Why are you here, Chanyeol?” you repeated yourself.

He bit his lip, air flowing through his nostrils when he breathed in. His eyes were cold now, but you noticed just a tiny little hint of, what seemed, regret in them. “Look, Y/N. I know it seemed like Minji and I are together or whatever.” He rolled his eyes when the last part rolled off his tongue. Your heart sank when you heard the name of the girl who was clinging onto him earlier this morning. “I just, I don’t know why I keep doing that” he threw his arms in the air, you noticed tears welling up in his eyes. “I know I am making you sad by giving in to Minji but I don’t fucking know why I make you sad. We are friends with benefits and nothing more, you even said that!” He began raising his voice, making you walk backward. It scared you a bit at how angry, sad, guilty he had gotten. “Yes, I act like a fucking boyfriend sometimes but I do not mean to, I don’t want it to be like this, a half assed relationship, hell, I don’t even know if I want a relationship.” He was now more talking to himself than he was talking to you.

You shook your head, ignoring his words. At least, pushing them away for now. “Chanyeol, calm down” you stepped forward, placing a hand on his chest but he grabbed it, holding it in front of you. “I can’t fucking calm down if I don’t understand my feelings myself” he hissed, gripping your wrist a little tighter. It did not hurt you. It would have when you weren’t shocked by his sudden outburst.

Where even was it coming from? “You are like, I don’t know. I feel giddy everytime when I’m with you. Like, you look so cute whenever we fucked and even when we don’t, you are just” he stopped himself. You didn’t know why but you were glad he did. You knew that if he went on with (unintentionally) giving you those sweet words, you would give in, start confessing. You both didn’t need that right now. Not at all.

He looked at you, took you in. Your whole being. Then he realized he was hurting you, with his words. Your eyes were watery and he knew you were holding back tears. You were slightly shaking and your lip was trembling. Even by saying all these things because you and him both know it wouldn’t end up right. “Why are you being like this?” he heard you ask. There was a hint of sadness in your voice, he took notice of. “I just… don’t know. I really don’t know, I don’t know, baby” He mumbled, voice barely audible.

But you heard it. Oh, you heard it.

Your fists balled and you closed your eyes.  _Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out._  You tried to tell yourself. But it was too late. All of the built up anger, frustration, sadness and confusion was on the brink of coming out and you tried  _so hard_ to keep it in.

“You can’t keep me in constant confusion, Chanyeol! Do you know how it feels like for me?” You tugged your hand loose from his grip, slamming it on his chest. Your eyes piercing into his.  “One day you act like you are totally into me. But the next day it’s like you aren’t even interested in me at all! That hurts me. You know everything about me, like everything. Even things Junmyeon doesn’t even know about me!” at the mention of Junmyeon, you saw his features harden. Indicating he was jealous. And that made you even madder. He had the audacity to get jealous over something like that? “Oh, you’re jealous about Junmyeon?” you seethed, walking closer to him. You were angry, furious, fuming, shaking, even. “You can’t get jealous over Junmyeon when you don’t even fully understand how bad I feel when you and Minji practically were glued together back in the coffee shop!” now  _your_  voice was raising. But Chanyeol didn’t seem fazed at all. “I don’t know what we are either, Chanyeol. But all I know is that I want this confusion to stop.” You whispered, looking up at Chanyeol, tears spilling over your waterline, streaming down your cheeks. He was looking at you too, and you noticed the exact same on his cheeks.

And it was like your mind clicked. You don’t know why, but it happened. You both reached for each other’s lips at the same time. His soft lips roughly pressing on top of yours. Your hands went up to reach his hair, finally mixing that mess. At the same time, his went to your thighs. Sending vibrations of want through your whole body.

It was weird how fast your feelings could change from frustration into lust. The same went for Chanyeol. Who was now intensively nipping at your jawline. Your back arching into his chest. He had lifted you up and you had wrapped your legs around his waist.

You honestly missed his touch. Even though it hadn’t even been two days. Maybe it was the state he left you in? You tried not to pay too much mind to it, though. It was right in this moment where you didn’t want to worry about anything. You never wanted to worry about it. All you wanted was for it to be less hurting and complex. But you two were (simply) complex people and that made this difficult.

More difficult than anything you’ve encountered.

You didn’t even process ending up on your bed with Chanyeol straddling your thighs, messily trying to take your bottoms off. You bit your lip, watching him while you propped yourself up on your elbows. Your thighs clenched together when you felt his fingertips go over your shins. His hands were cold. But you didn’t mind.

Chanyeol chuckled at the way you reacted to his touch. He slowly crept up towards your thighs, fingertips dragging along your skin. Making your center drip in anticipation for him. You were getting impatient and he knew it. You were sure he knew it. He had that stupid glint in his eyes everytime he knew you were growing desperate for something.

He loved it.

“Hurry up” you breathed out, your tongue wetting your lips as they felt dry. You pushed his jeans off with your feet, surprisingly succeeding in it. He chuckled, reaching for your nightstand to get out a condom. You both had those in there, it was some silent rule you two had made when you began seeing each other. You remembered how hot and red your face felt when he suggested it.  

Once you both were only clothed in your skin, he sat on top of your thighs again, slowly rubbing circles onto your most sensitive spot, making your eyes roll back in pleasure. You didn’t moan just yet.

Chanyeol had positioned himself so that he was lined up with you, slowly, torturingly, pushing in. It had your back arching in want and your hands squeezing his biceps in need. His lips were pressing soothing kisses on your neck, his whispers praising you. “You’re doing so good already.” “I love the sounds you make.” “You’re so pretty, baby” You kept hearing from him. It made you feel wanted, even though you weren’t sure if he meant them or if he just said them because of the situation. But they made you even more wet for him. Aching for him. For his touch. All for him.

Your hands went to Chanyeol’s hair, softly tugging on it. Which made you earn a soft groan from him. His nose was scrunched up and his eyes were closed.

You wanted to talk, but you couldn’t. The pleasure was too much for that already and you weren’t eve close yet. Or were you? You didn’t know. It was overwhelming, too overwhelming. It made you speechless yet again. “Please move” you croaked out. Chanyeol obeyed and began moving, teasingly slow. He knew you hated – loved – that. You tried to make him move more by scratching his back. But he knew you. “Beg” he commanded, smirking down at you. watching you, taking you in. Your eyes were shut tight. Your chest was heavily going up and down and your hair was a mess, a cute mess. “Chanyeol, please” you cried out, eyes opening wide. “Please move, I need you to move” you begged him, squirming underneath him. It almost hurt how turned on you were. You didn’t even know why. You didn’t want to know why you were so turned on. You just wanted him to move more.

And like he could read your mind, he began thrusting harder into you. You shot up, chest softly crashing into his. “Fucking hell” you hissed, eyes wide open. His fingers were drawing figures on your clit. His other hand was tightly gripping your hips. To the point that it would bruise the following day.

In a minute, he had you squirming underneath him. He smirked, his ego being lifted at how good he made you feel. “Tell me how you feel” you heard him say, his voice deep and filled with lust. “So good” you barely made out. Chanyeol wanted to hear more but he knew you were too caught up in the moment to talk properly, so he let you. His lips ghosting over your left nipple, sucking it into his mouth. This made you arch your back even more than it already was. He smirked, sinking his teeth into your nipple.

And with all this, his hips aggressively thrusting into you, his right hand working at your clit, his left hand holding your hand and his teeth on your nipple. Made you close your eyes tightly, a tear spilling out of your eye, extreme pleasure spurting all through your body, a loud, broken moan escaping your throat.

And with all that, Chanyeol’s thrusts became more sloppy. He felt himself coming close. That one squeeze around his cock you gave him, sent him over the edge. His face hidden in the crook of your neck, teeth sinking into the skin of your neck. “Oh my God.” He groaned, face still in your neck. His thrusts became slower after he came, you were sensitive so you were quite relieved about that.

 

He slowly pulled out of you. With a groan, that was. He fell down next to you on your bed. His hand reaching for the now filled condom, he quickly took it off, hissing at the touch. He got rid of it as you stood up to get a new pair of panties. Your legs were a little bit wobbly due to the intensity of your orgasm. Deciding to worry about the mess you two made later. Your eyes went to Chanyeol’s big shirt on the ground. The one with the white wolf looking drawing on it. You hesitated for a moment but picked it up. It smelled like him, obviously. But the scent never made you feel bad so you put it on. Sighing contently at how comfortable it felt. Chanyeol came back from the bathroom, his eyes on you as he smiled faintly. He had put his boxers back on.

So you went into the bathroom, silently closing the door. You closed your eyes, leaning against the door. You were exhausted, mentally and physically. Your head felt light and you were thirsty. So, you went over to the sink, opened it and let the cool water fill the bowl you made out of your hands. You brought it up to your mouth and eagerly drank the cool liquid. It was refreshing and you needed it.

Quickly, you washed yourself with a washcloth and put on the panties you had picked from your closed.

When you returned to the bedroom, there was a comfortable silence between you two. A silence you appreciated. You had calmed down from everything that has happened and you had forgotten about your previous worries.

Well, they were in the back of your mind and you did not want to worry about them at this moment.

You watched Chanyeol reach for his pocket in the jeans on the floor. You frowned when he got out a plastic bag and a lighter.

“Really?” You asked. A slight smirk on your face. “I’m stressed” he answered, opening your window. You nodded. “I know you are, you’re tensed.” You stated. It was obvious and you had been noticing him building up his stress for a while now. He nodded. “You want one too?” he asked, you shook your head. “I’ll share with you” he nodded and climbed back on the bed. A joint in his mouth and a lighter in his hand.

Chanyeol lightened the joint, tossing the lighter on your nightstand. You heard him inhale, the sound of burning paper filling your ears and the thick scent of weed filling your nose. It had a calming sense to it. You didn’t know why.

You were sitting across from him. Your legs crossed and Odin hopped into your lap, nuzzling his little furry head against the fabric of Chanyeol’s shirt that you were wearing. It bunched up a little at your hips. Odin’s fur was tickling your thighs a bit. Which made you frown, shifting a bit. Chanyeol only laughed.

Once he took a drag, he placed the joint in your mouth. His eyes focusing on your body language. You seemed tired, worn out. Mentally and physically. He felt bad for you. He had caused this. He knew that. He didn’t want to worry about that right now, though. He knows you don’t want to either. But for a minute he began thinking. You seemed so sad in the coffee shop. He felt so guilty about it. Every time he looked at you, he felt his heart beat faster. He didn’t understand it. Or did he? In the back of his mind, he did, way in the back of his mind. He tried to ignore it, though. He was not used to it.  _At all._  All he ever knew was fucking around with people. The only girlfriend he had was Minji, until she got too annoying, too obsessive. It had an impact on him, on you. You had tried to push away everything Minji had did to you. Meanwhile, Chanyeol kept thinking about it. That’s also why he didn’t know why he put up with her today. Or why he even still had her number.

He didn’t want to think about Minji and what she had done anymore so when you handed him the joint again. He took the longest drag his lungs would allow him to. The burning feeling numbing his thought train.  

It had been a while since you had smoked weed. You had to get used to it again and when you coughed, Chanyeol laughed and told you that those three drags would be enough. And you silently agreed, feeling too tired to answer him with your voice. So, you pushed him down on his back and placed your head on his chest. Odin hopped off of you and nestled himself on the edge of your bed, watching the two of you.

You threw your leg over his thigh, your head carefully placed on his chest and your face pressed on his chest. Slowly, you felt yourself drift into a state of half-consciousness. Chanyeol chuckled, sliding his arm around your waist. His other hand placed the joint between his lips again and he took a drag of it.

“You’re cute, Y/N. don’t ever leave me. Ok?”

You faintly heard him ask.

You didn’t know if it was the weed having his way on him or if he truly meant it. But in your head, you promised him you’d never leave him.

 

* * *

 

A finger dragged across your cheek. Wet. It was wet. The sensation made you shoot up in confusion. Too hazy minded to function properly yet. A loud chuckle was heard from aside you. You brought your hands up to your eyes, rubbing at them. Trying to get the sleep away. “Why did you do that?” you asked, your voice rough from sleep. Chanyeol didn’t answer, he only stared at you. In your state of awareness, you fell back again, too tired to get up yet. “It’s eleven, Y/N” you heard Chanyeol say, you only gave him a soft hum in response and settled yourself against his side again.

 

Chanyeol let out a small sigh, taking you in once again. Your – his – shirt had ridden up all the way to just under your breasts and your black granny panties peeked out from the flower patterned sheets. His finger hooked around the material of your panties, letting it rest there. He found it adorable that you didn’t really care to dress up. Underwear wise.

 

Only a few times he had seen you in somewhat fancy underwear. One time after that party Jongin and Baekhyun hosted. Right after he had broken up with Minji. You two were shitfaced drunk and had bumped into each other. Somehow, you both had ended up on Jongin’s bed, his hands in your dark blue, lacy panties. His teeth sliding off the silky material of your bra strap.

A second time when you had the weird idea to go on a fancy dinner date before hooking up. It totally went wrong and you two ended up having sex in the back of his car. Chanyeol was surprised to see that you wore dark red, silk lingerie under the dress you wore.

 

His thought train was interrupted when he felt a pair of (slightly chapped) lips on his arm, giving it a few kisses. “Awake again?” he asked, looking down at you. He saw you nod. “It’s 12 now, do you have lectures tomorrow you need to prepare?” he asked you. “Why do you care?” you asked, confused as for why he would ask you when normally he would worry about if he could catch the next bus or metro. “Because I know some take you a lot of time.” He noted as if it was obvious that he knew. You bit your lip. “I don’t” you whispered. Feeling slightly bad over the way he reacted to you. Chanyeol noticed this and brought his hand to your cheek, cupping it. “Hey, baby, I didn’t mean it in a bad way.” He whispered. You let out a soft hum and nodded, looking at him.

 

A soft sound went through the room. Chanyeol’s phone. Your eyes wandered to the device. Reading the message. Chanyeol followed you, not noticing you were reading it too. You know you shouldn’t but you couldn’t help it. He knows you’re of curious nature too. Your heart sank when you saw whose message it was. _Minji_. “Babe, where are you? I want to see you” you read out loud. Feeling cheated on. You didn’t dare to look at him. you heard him gulp. Peeking up at him, you noticed his features visibly hardening. Another sound went through the room. You tried so hard not to look. But you did. “Or are you with that bitch again? You know I can make you feel way better, I know you. I’ve known your body for over a year. I miss you.” It read. Could she stop borderline sexting him? You wondered.

This time, you didn’t read out loud, too afraid. But Chanyeol had seen it too. You didn’t know what to do. It was too much.

 

When Chanyeol had broken up with Minji, he had said that he never wanted to speak to her ever again. But you were highly doubting those words now. When you saw him in the coffee shop, with Minji. Now, with these messages. Why did he do it?

“Are you fucking her?” you heard yourself ask before you could even think. You looked him directly into his eyes. Repeating yourself. “Are you fucking her?” “What the fuck?” Chanyeol sat up. “Who the fuck do you think I am?” he asked you, looking offended. You stepped out of bed, glaring at him. “Y/N, do you really fucking think I would be fucking her? I hate that bitch and you know that.” He hissed, now standing up too. On the other side of the bed. “I find that hard to believe, if I am honest, Chanyeol.” You whispered, looking down.

 

His features softened. You were right.

 

“I might be over dramatic but how am I supposed to believe you when you two were all over each other and you kissed her. And now when I wake up to this. I don’t know if I can believe you, honestly” you continued. A tear falling down on the floor as you sat down on your bed again. Your back facing him. You brought your knees up to your chest, looking at the window. It was like a mind game. Chanyeol seemed so into you. But when Minji came into the picture again (even just for a day), everything turned around again. Chanyeol’s feed padded to your side. He crouched down in front of you. “I promise, with my whole fucking heart, that I am not fucking her.” He assured you. You could hear the truth in his voice. “But you kissed her.” You whispered, looking at him.

 

Once again, his features hardened and he gulped. “Have you not listened to any of what I had to say yesterday?” he frustratedly asked you, standing up again. You let out a shriek, ducking down because you were afraid he was about to hit you. Chanyeol immediately turned to sat next to you. He shouldn’t have moved so quick. His arms wrapped around your frame. He pressed your face to his chest as you tried not to let out a cry. “I’m sorry, baby.” He whispered. “I thought you were going to hit me.” He heard you whisper, a sob escaping your lips. “I would never, you know that.” He whispered, looking down at you.

 

Ever since your ex-boyfriend left you, you were like this. You didn’t want to talk about it much but Chanyeol knew about it. Through Junmyeon. He had to bribe Junmyeon good before he got to know why you flinch so easily. He remembers it clearly.

 

_“Myeon, just tell me. I won’t let her know that I know what happened. I just want to know why she flinches so much.” Chanyeol pushed. Making Junmyeon sigh. “No, it’s private, Yeol.” Chanyeol stood up. “Well, then this was for nothing, you can pay for the coffee.” He hissed, ready to grab his jacket. But he heard a sight and a ‘sit down’ from Junmyeon. He smirked, knowing he had won. “Go on.” He urged. Earning a nod from Junmyeon. “Well, you know about Y/N’s ex right?” Chanyeol nodded. “She had found out he cheated on her with Minji, a few months back,” Junmyeon spoke. Chanyeol frowned. He and Minji had broken up a while ago. “She confronted him with it and well… he got physical. He had grabbed her by her wrists, pinned her to the wall and forced her to stay with him.” he mumbled. “It was like that for three weeks before she finally broke up with him.” Chanyeol nodded. “Remember the black eye she had, along with the bruise on her cheek?” Chanyeol nodded again, preparing for the worst. “Her whole body was covered in bruises, it was the worst one. He had beaten her black and blue.”_

 

_Junmyeon was visibly uncomfortable. Reminding himself of the way you stood on his doorstep. Soaking wet from the rain. Only in your pajama pants and a tee shirt. Crying your eyes out. In the midst of a panic attack. He had dragged you inside and let you calm down. Then you had explained everything to him._

 

_How he had forced you to stay when you found out he had cheated on you. He would force you to stay inside (luckily you had no lectures or any semester). He would threaten you and hit you on occasion. When you tried to leave that night, he had grabbed you and beaten you. But you escaped and ran towards Junmyeon, knowing you were safe there._

 

_Once Junmyeon was done explaining all this to Chanyeol. He was fuming. Chanyeol had to really, really control himself at that moment. “That’s why she flinches so much.” He finished. Chanyeol nodded. “I’m gonna kill him” he had promised himself. Unsure of his own statement._

 

He was swaying you back and forth in his grip, calming you down. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I should have known.” He whispered before he could think. You looked up. “What are you talking about?” you gulped. Does he know? Your breathing grew heavier. “Chanyeol, what do you know?” you asked him. He opened his mouth to speak up. You closed your eyes, not knowing if you were ready for the answer. You heard him breathing in deeply.

 

“Junmyeon told me everything.” He mumbled. You bit your lip. A lump forming in your throat. “He told me about your ex-boyfriend, the way he treated you and how you showed up at Junmyeon’s doorstep that night.” You let out a broken sob against his chest. “I’m sorry” you cried out. Chanyeol looked at you, confused. “Why are you sorry?” he asked you. You let out a soft cry. “For not telling you.”

 

Chanyeol frowned. “I understand that.” He whispered softly, placing his finger under your chin, forcing you to look up at him. But you kept your eyes shut tight, not daring to look up at him. “Y/N, baby, look at me please, for me.” He whispered, placing a small kiss on your jawline. To soothe you. You opened your eyes, tears blurring your vision when all of that night came back to you. “I am so sorry, I should have told you. I am so sorry Chanyeol I don’t-“ he cut you off with a kiss on your open lips.

 

You felt yourself kissing him back. Tears still streaming over your cheeks but you didn’t pay mind to it much. Your hands grabbed his, frowning. He moved you closer. On his lap, before he broke the kiss. “Y/N, I want you to know that I do not judge you, _at all_. I get it. Ok?” of course he could never truly know how you feel but he was close to it. “I know what the fucking asshole did and I know what Minji did.” You already know that he knew what Minji has done to you. But knowing that Chanyeol was aware of what your ex-boyfriend has done to you, surprised you. “I’ve known it for months.” For some reason, it was a relief that Chanyeol knew. That’s why he was careful around you. You’ve noticed. He showed a vibe that left off a safe feeling. Probably because he knew what he had done to you. “I would never hit you, ever. Not without your consent..” you frowned. “I- I mean if you’re into that during sex, then I can try but–“ this time you cut him off by pressing your lips to his.

 

“You’re silly.” You giggled once the kiss was over. He smiled against your chin. “Anything to make you smile, baby.” This made your heart flutter. You let your head fall against his chest. He wrapped an arm around you and brought his lips to your ear. “Be together with me, Y/N.” he whispered. Your heart skipped a beat. Did he really just ask that? “W-what?” you whispered, voice almost inaudible. “Be my girlfriend.” You were sure he wasn’t high. “Are you serious?” he nodded. “I am.” He whispered. “Y-yes, I- of course, I will be” you whispered, a bit shocked still.

 

Chanyeol smiled, feeling relieved. He had finally asked it. He felt you smile against his chest. He cupped your cheeks, they were hot. He assumed you were blushing and he brought his face close to yours. Pressing a kiss on your lips. “I mean it, Y/N. I want you to be my girlfriend. Even if I am a shitty person.” He told you. You nodded and let out a small huff. “Chanyeol, I know you’re a good person. We’re both broken people, ok? We can help each other through this.” You assured him. He gave you a nod. Taking you in his arms again. You pressed a kiss on his chest and closed your eyes, sighing happily.

 

Both of you were unaware of the storm that was about to come with this.

**Author's Note:**

> More to come.
> 
> Also, I am slightly getting the hang of ao3, I think.


End file.
